A Single Step, issue Winter 2007-08
Motherhood and Depression
Motherhood can be a frightening prospect for women prone to depression. There is the fear of infertility, the fear of taking antidepressants during pregnancy and, of course, the fear of being a depressed mother.
Having suffered intermittently from depression throughout my adult life, I approached the idea of children with some trepidation. The journey has included miscarriage, a struggle to conceive and a stint of postnatal depression. However, I now have a beautiful toddler and the best mental health I've had for years.
I believe my improved health is a direct result of being a mother. Children turn everything upside down. Amongst the resulting chaos is an opportunity to make changes in your life that go to the heart of why you suffer from depression.
Babies force you to reassess your priorities. Maternity leave is a marvellous chance to take a break from your previous life and decide what to do next. This may mean stepping down from a career that was all consuming and trying something gentler and more enjoyable.
Babies are programmed to love their mothers. You are the most wonderful person in their world and you can do no wrong. This unconditional love is a fantastic boost to self-esteem. Babies don't care what you look like, they just want to gaze into your eyes. Toddlers don't mind if you sing out of tune or forget the words, they delight in your songs.
Caring for a baby gives you the perfect excuse to avoid activities that may be damaging to your mental health and the opportunity to learn new activities. Baby singing groups never fail to lift the mood, and shared experiences make it easier to develop enriching new friendships with other mothers.
Babies are a superb social prop. No more standing around in groups wondering what to do with your hands. The need to focus on the baby in your arms means there is not the time to dwell on your personal anxieties, and never a shortage of conversation.
Babies are creatures of habit - they like regular days without many changes. Rather like those prone to depression, they prefer to sleep and eat at the same time and they don't like many trips away from home.
Babies force you to slow down. It's difficult to rush a baby and you definitely can't hurry a toddler. Two-year-old children live so much in the present that a simple walk down the street takes forever. They want to stop and pick up every stone and twig, clamber on walls, tear up people's drives. Frustrating if you are in a rush, but if you relax and see the world through their curious eyes it can be delightfully refreshing.
Babies are gorgeous - they are something that you created and continue to nurture. Watching them grow gives an amazing sense of achievement and purpose.
More articles:
Moving People
Undoing Depression
Choice in Depression: Making Progress
Employment and Depression
Reforming Psychological Therapies in the UK
DA Talk